Here's the finished product...
Tuesday, 18 December 2012
Tuesday 18th December 2012
So yesterday (Monday 17th) I decided to do some baking for work, because I'm not there on the last day and today is the last day I have my car till the weekend. So I ventured to Sainsburys to get my supplies...
I found this icing which was already tubed and ready to squirt onto the fairy cakes I made. The red one seemed to be better than the green, because the green started to melt I suppose, almost as soon as it hit the cake. The box of 36 mini candy canes are from Pound Land.
Here's the finished product...
Here's the finished product...
Thursday, 13 December 2012
Thursday 13th December 2012
So last week I mentioned that I was trying to organise the work christmas party, which has FINALLY come together! I had plenty of people complaining about why people aren't coming and why we aren't going out on this date and not that date! Nightmare!
But now it's all planned, I'm going to have to work out what I'm wearing! Even more of a nightmare, especially now that it's minus temperatures outside during the day AND night. I'm going to end up wearing a ski suit probably!
But now it's all planned, I'm going to have to work out what I'm wearing! Even more of a nightmare, especially now that it's minus temperatures outside during the day AND night. I'm going to end up wearing a ski suit probably!
Tuesday, 11 December 2012
Monday 10th December 2012
I had a pretty average weekend as usual. Saturday I stayed at home in the morning and went to a soft play centre in the afternoon then put up the Christmas tree. On Sunday I went to see the "new" James Bond. Obv not that new anymore, but new to me.
Here is a festive photo for you...
It's a really shit photo cos I took it on my phone, and couldn't be bothered to take another one. The tree looks proper cute, because my mum let me decorate it with a theme like I try to suggest every year, but my mum always ends up putting some revolting coloured lights on it. MY TURN THIS YEAAAAAR.
Here is a festive photo for you...
Friday, 7 December 2012
Friday 7th December 2012
So this whole "Christmas Fitness" thing I planned on doing, is actually alright, I haven't done it for the past two days because I've felt a bit ill. But as soon as I start to feel ok again, I'll get back into it.
I started making a Christmas card the other day. This is for the guy who made me the advent calendar, I know how much he loves scrabble, so hence the card!
The inside is going to be a living room scene (I haven't taken a picture of that yet) but I've done it so it's a pop up one, so the Christmas tree is stood up in the middle of the room/card and I've drawn a wintery scene and put it behind the tree so it looks like a window. I'm so cool, I know.
I also got this cutie in my advent calendar...
I felt guilty eating him, his face was so adorable. But then I got told by me eating him I was fulfilling his Christmas destiny. So that's all goooooooooooood.
I started making a Christmas card the other day. This is for the guy who made me the advent calendar, I know how much he loves scrabble, so hence the card!
I also got this cutie in my advent calendar...
Wednesday, 5 December 2012
Tuesday, 4 December 2012
Christmas Fitness Day 1
So last night I did my first evening of Christmas Fitness and completed my Legs and Bum exercises along with my Waist exercises. I swear to god, this morning boy do my thighs hurt. I'll post some pictures of the workouts I'm following to maybe try and inspire people out there who need a push.
I'm going to be really determined this time and try my hardest to look and feel good. I started eating healthy today, bought fruit, some healthy rice crackers, smoothies, drank shit loads of water. I do hope this fucking works!
I'm going to be really determined this time and try my hardest to look and feel good. I started eating healthy today, bought fruit, some healthy rice crackers, smoothies, drank shit loads of water. I do hope this fucking works!
Tuesday 4th December 2012
So the other day I told you about an advent calendar a dear lovely of mine had made me, and that I had made him one. Unfortunately I didn't take a picture of mine once I'd finished it, which is a shame, because it came on so far from the picture I had taken originally.
Since I took this picture I added little ribbons onto the bottom of each drawer so they were easier to pull out, and I had added a sort of casing round the outside so it was sturdy-er.
He seemed really pleased with it, which he should be, with all the effort I put into it along with the little suprises I added to it to make it a bit more personal. I'm hoping he like the suprises and the little notes, I've tried to add some stuff in there for his son too, like one of those magic flannels which has Nemo on, which in all honesty, I'd really like!
The one he made me is really cute, a bit smaller than mine, but his looks a lot neater and more professional which sucks because I'm supposed to be the one whose good at crafty things!
I didn't take a very good photo of it, but he got this stick on fabric from Hobby Craft with christmas tree prints on, and then another one with a sort of zig zag line pattern on which was round the sides and back of it. It's very adorable :')
We both used the same sort of method to make them, as we intended to use Matchboxes, but they were way too small to fit any decent things in them. I made mine before he did, so I technically saved him time by telling him my secret. I drew up a template for the drawer and for the drawer holder, making the draw a millimetre smaller than the holder so it'd slide in and out easily. Using my office facilities I used the photocopier to copy them to save time drawing 25 drawers out. I discovered you just need patience to achieve something like this, and I'm glad I did it :)
He seemed really pleased with it, which he should be, with all the effort I put into it along with the little suprises I added to it to make it a bit more personal. I'm hoping he like the suprises and the little notes, I've tried to add some stuff in there for his son too, like one of those magic flannels which has Nemo on, which in all honesty, I'd really like!
The one he made me is really cute, a bit smaller than mine, but his looks a lot neater and more professional which sucks because I'm supposed to be the one whose good at crafty things!
We both used the same sort of method to make them, as we intended to use Matchboxes, but they were way too small to fit any decent things in them. I made mine before he did, so I technically saved him time by telling him my secret. I drew up a template for the drawer and for the drawer holder, making the draw a millimetre smaller than the holder so it'd slide in and out easily. Using my office facilities I used the photocopier to copy them to save time drawing 25 drawers out. I discovered you just need patience to achieve something like this, and I'm glad I did it :)
Monday, 3 December 2012
Christmas Fitness
So for the past few months I've been a member at a gym, but I actually haven't been in a while. Unfortunately I can't go anymore, because they closed it down.
I have now decided that I do not need a gym to work out in, I can do that at home. So from today, Monday 3rd December 2012, I will follow my workout plan which I drew up last night.
I'm hoping I'll be motivated enough to follow this through, because recently I've been hating on my body so much, and this should really start to make me feel better about everything. I already have some 1.5kg weights, which yes, isn't a lot, but just for starting out is a good weight. Fingers crossed!
I'm going to try and team this up with a balanced diet, because recently I've been getting reaaaaaly spotty, and if I eat healthily, this should improve my skin and hair condition. I've also started using the sunbed again, I know this can be bad for you, but I don't go on every day, just twice a week, to give myself a healthy glow all in prep for the Christmas party season.
I have now decided that I do not need a gym to work out in, I can do that at home. So from today, Monday 3rd December 2012, I will follow my workout plan which I drew up last night.
I'm hoping I'll be motivated enough to follow this through, because recently I've been hating on my body so much, and this should really start to make me feel better about everything. I already have some 1.5kg weights, which yes, isn't a lot, but just for starting out is a good weight. Fingers crossed!
I'm going to try and team this up with a balanced diet, because recently I've been getting reaaaaaly spotty, and if I eat healthily, this should improve my skin and hair condition. I've also started using the sunbed again, I know this can be bad for you, but I don't go on every day, just twice a week, to give myself a healthy glow all in prep for the Christmas party season.
Monday 3rd December 2012
MERRY DECEMBER EVERYONE!
Hope you're all digging into your advent calendars and getting the Christmas tunes playing. I personally, have put the Michael Buble Christmas CD in my car, because, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I'm so excited, even though I have already got my Christmas present, the Kindle Fire, I'm really excited. This year is going to be so different to last year, as last year was so different to the previous year. Unfortunately I lost my Gran last September, which meant Christmas was spent with one less person, the one who made the apple pie and pigs in blankets. It really wasn't the same. But this year, my sister and her boyfriend won't be here because they're in Australia, and I wont get to see my cousin or auntie as they're in Wakefield. It'll be the smallest Christmas in my family ever.
This weekend, I didn't really get up to much, but on Saturday I saw the girlies for the first time in ageeeeeees, and it was really nice. We had planned to go to the cinema to see "Silver Linings Play Book" but when we got there tickets had sold out, so we decided to go bowling and go to the arcade instead. We got a drive thru McDonald's on the way home, which was sooooooooo lush. Stopped off at Emily's for a bit where I was given my birthday present, better late then never!
Hope you're all digging into your advent calendars and getting the Christmas tunes playing. I personally, have put the Michael Buble Christmas CD in my car, because, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. I'm so excited, even though I have already got my Christmas present, the Kindle Fire, I'm really excited. This year is going to be so different to last year, as last year was so different to the previous year. Unfortunately I lost my Gran last September, which meant Christmas was spent with one less person, the one who made the apple pie and pigs in blankets. It really wasn't the same. But this year, my sister and her boyfriend won't be here because they're in Australia, and I wont get to see my cousin or auntie as they're in Wakefield. It'll be the smallest Christmas in my family ever.
This weekend, I didn't really get up to much, but on Saturday I saw the girlies for the first time in ageeeeeees, and it was really nice. We had planned to go to the cinema to see "Silver Linings Play Book" but when we got there tickets had sold out, so we decided to go bowling and go to the arcade instead. We got a drive thru McDonald's on the way home, which was sooooooooo lush. Stopped off at Emily's for a bit where I was given my birthday present, better late then never!
Friday, 30 November 2012
Thought of the Day
I've always wondered why and how people can't seem to get their piss in the toilet. I'm sorry but, it's not tricky. I'll let you off if you're potty training, but once you've got the grip of that there should be no problem!
How do women seriously get wee on the toilet seat, when you're sat down anyways? AND how do they get it on the floor?! It's an utter mystery to me in all honesty!
Men, how can you miss the massive hole when you have tackle which you can aim with? If you can shoot jizz in the right place, you can shoot piss. Not tricky fellas.
How do women seriously get wee on the toilet seat, when you're sat down anyways? AND how do they get it on the floor?! It's an utter mystery to me in all honesty!
Men, how can you miss the massive hole when you have tackle which you can aim with? If you can shoot jizz in the right place, you can shoot piss. Not tricky fellas.
Friday 30th November 2012
So one more day to go till Advent! Eeeeeee! This year I'm lucky enough to have found a crafty fellow who has made me an advent calendar and I've made him one too. I'm really excited about it, I've put a lot of effort into mine, and I've put little gifts into some of the drawers to make it a bit more personal. I'll take some pictures tonight for you :)
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Tuesday 27th November 2012
Part 3.
This is about Made In Chelsea.
So last night I watched Made In Chelsea, like I do every week. I don't know why I love it so much, I just do. I guess for me it's like seeing how the other half live, sipping on champagne all the time and partying, not having to get up to go to an office job. Last night's episode was really upsetting when Millie had to give up Herby her dog, I actually started to cry, but I couldn't properly cry as my dad was in the room, so I had to pretend I'd poked myself in the eye...
I also feel for Francis, mainly because he is the greatest guy ever on that show. I found it really disrespectful when Proudlock and Sophia hooked up for the second time, right in front of him. I would have bitch slapped that skinny ass boy and told him to f*%k off! Francis deserves a girl who sticks to what she says and isn't fickle. I felt his heartache last week when they hooked up for the first time and he looked so sad, but at the dinner party when they made up, it truly made me feel better.
This is about Made In Chelsea.
So last night I watched Made In Chelsea, like I do every week. I don't know why I love it so much, I just do. I guess for me it's like seeing how the other half live, sipping on champagne all the time and partying, not having to get up to go to an office job. Last night's episode was really upsetting when Millie had to give up Herby her dog, I actually started to cry, but I couldn't properly cry as my dad was in the room, so I had to pretend I'd poked myself in the eye...
I also feel for Francis, mainly because he is the greatest guy ever on that show. I found it really disrespectful when Proudlock and Sophia hooked up for the second time, right in front of him. I would have bitch slapped that skinny ass boy and told him to f*%k off! Francis deserves a girl who sticks to what she says and isn't fickle. I felt his heartache last week when they hooked up for the first time and he looked so sad, but at the dinner party when they made up, it truly made me feel better.
Tuesday 27th November 2012
Part 2.
Another one about feelings. Sorry guys.
I just have so much going on in my head and my heart. So much, I shouldn't be going through all this, it's ridiculous. He doesn't seem to realise that I have genuine feelings, and that I actually care about this and him, and his son. I get that tingling feeling in my tummy when I see him, and even if I only see him for 5 minutes, it's the best 5 minutes of the day. He's by far my favourite person to be with, and urgh. I wish he would understand that when I tell him this, I actually mean it.
Another one about feelings. Sorry guys.
I just have so much going on in my head and my heart. So much, I shouldn't be going through all this, it's ridiculous. He doesn't seem to realise that I have genuine feelings, and that I actually care about this and him, and his son. I get that tingling feeling in my tummy when I see him, and even if I only see him for 5 minutes, it's the best 5 minutes of the day. He's by far my favourite person to be with, and urgh. I wish he would understand that when I tell him this, I actually mean it.
Tuesday 27th November 2012
So yet again, little is going on in my life.
I'm having some emotional/feelings issues with a certain someone. He's a single father but is unsure whether to take the chance on me. I need advice so badly for this, but no one I know has been through something like this before. It's really tricky on my part, because I really want a chance, but he won't give me one. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've read some articles about dating single fathers, and everything in them which they say to do, I have basically said I'd do. So urgh.
Why me.
I'm having some emotional/feelings issues with a certain someone. He's a single father but is unsure whether to take the chance on me. I need advice so badly for this, but no one I know has been through something like this before. It's really tricky on my part, because I really want a chance, but he won't give me one. I just don't know what to do anymore. I've read some articles about dating single fathers, and everything in them which they say to do, I have basically said I'd do. So urgh.
Why me.
Friday, 23 November 2012
Friday 23rd November 2012
Part 2.
Another post about bras/boobs.
I wore a bra today which I bought a while back as a set from Debenhams by a brand called Floozie. Now, it's a really nice bra, and it's a balcony one, which are tricky to wear when you have no boobies to fill them, but somehow I manage to with this one. The only issue is that the wires in it are really painful on the centre of my chest. The fact that it was rubbing so much that I had to take my bra off at work is ridiculous. So I've been sat at my desk for the past 2 hours without a bra on under my shirt (it's baggy so you can't tell). it's actually really nice not wearing a bra. I advise you all to go braless.
Another post about bras/boobs.
I wore a bra today which I bought a while back as a set from Debenhams by a brand called Floozie. Now, it's a really nice bra, and it's a balcony one, which are tricky to wear when you have no boobies to fill them, but somehow I manage to with this one. The only issue is that the wires in it are really painful on the centre of my chest. The fact that it was rubbing so much that I had to take my bra off at work is ridiculous. So I've been sat at my desk for the past 2 hours without a bra on under my shirt (it's baggy so you can't tell). it's actually really nice not wearing a bra. I advise you all to go braless.
Friday 23rd November
Last night I went bra shopping, which was the biggest mistake of my life. I could not find one bra that fitted me. I know people always want smaller boobs, but when this happens, you really don't. It's ridiculous! I tried on so many bras which were supposedly "my size". But nope. too big, too small, NOT FAIR.
Wednesday, 21 November 2012
Wednesday 21st November 2012
It's ridiculous how little I do in my spare time. I literally just lay in bed all evening and watch TV. Even when I've gone to bed I'm watching things on my phone. But last night I decided to change that!
I googled some at home workouts and bashed out a few whilst the TV was on. I did a bit of Yoga, then some "butt lifting" exercises and some "lean legs" exercises, and I swear to god this morning my thighs hurt so much! I'm hoping to improve my body in many ways...
I googled some at home workouts and bashed out a few whilst the TV was on. I did a bit of Yoga, then some "butt lifting" exercises and some "lean legs" exercises, and I swear to god this morning my thighs hurt so much! I'm hoping to improve my body in many ways...
- Lift my butt, cos it's PROPER squishy
- Define my waist more
- Define my back muscles
- Increase my pec muscles
I'm never gonna have huge boobs, and I know that, but I think if I can at least try to improve my body, I will be happier with it.
Monday, 19 November 2012
Monday 19th November 2012
So over the weekend I did fuck all. Hence why I didn't blog because my life is so utterly shit and dull, that no one would bother reading it. I spent it all laid in bed watching FRIENDS, and numerous other TV programs, as I sat around waiting for someone to say they had time to see me, when actually they didn't.
Nothing in my life is going good at the moment. I hate everything about it, the fact that he won't give me a chance, and the fact I'm so skint, and that I look at myself in the mirror and hate everything I see.
I'm trying to improve my body image, and my self confidence because it's at an all time low. There are so many images online of girls and women with amazing bodies, and curves, which makes me, a girl who is stick thin, with no curves WHAT SO EVER, feel like shit. So I'm trying to gain weight, eat a balanced diet, but increase my calorie intake, and eat regularly. Good luck H...
I just feel like last month everything was going so well and I was genuinely happy, and BAM, he says one thing, and I haven't been truely happy in a while, not since we went to London together. He doesn't understand how upset all this is making me, or has made me. It's horrible for me. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anyone. I've never felt so demotivated or depressed ever.
Nothing in my life is going good at the moment. I hate everything about it, the fact that he won't give me a chance, and the fact I'm so skint, and that I look at myself in the mirror and hate everything I see.
I'm trying to improve my body image, and my self confidence because it's at an all time low. There are so many images online of girls and women with amazing bodies, and curves, which makes me, a girl who is stick thin, with no curves WHAT SO EVER, feel like shit. So I'm trying to gain weight, eat a balanced diet, but increase my calorie intake, and eat regularly. Good luck H...
I just feel like last month everything was going so well and I was genuinely happy, and BAM, he says one thing, and I haven't been truely happy in a while, not since we went to London together. He doesn't understand how upset all this is making me, or has made me. It's horrible for me. I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anyone. I've never felt so demotivated or depressed ever.
Friday, 16 November 2012
Friday 16th November 2012
I've got so shit at posting on here and I've only been doing this for about a week!
Today is Children In Need, so last night I ended up baking some cupcakes cos we're having a bake sale to raise money. Here's a picture of the finished produce...
My attempt at Children in Need meets Movember, hopefully they will taste as good as they look! We're also having a dress down Friday where we have to pay £1 and that goes to charity too. So finally I get to wear leggings and feel comfy for once at work!!
Which is your favourite tash?
Today is Children In Need, so last night I ended up baking some cupcakes cos we're having a bake sale to raise money. Here's a picture of the finished produce...
My attempt at Children in Need meets Movember, hopefully they will taste as good as they look! We're also having a dress down Friday where we have to pay £1 and that goes to charity too. So finally I get to wear leggings and feel comfy for once at work!!
Which is your favourite tash?
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
Wednesday 14th November 2012
Sorry I didn't post yesterday, I didn't do much except work. I'm having another outbreak like I talked about in my previous post, luckily I have my antibiotics so it should start to heal up soon.
In other news, I'm thinking of selling my car and saving up for a flat/apartment thing, I really want to move out as soon as possible but having a car is stopping me doing so. Unless I get a pay rise or a second job, which is nearing on impossible.
I'm currently working out on how I'm going to buy my xmas presents for everyone. I'm making an advent calendar for A and O. Putting little presents in random days so it builds up to christmas day :D I'm so excited.
In other news, I'm thinking of selling my car and saving up for a flat/apartment thing, I really want to move out as soon as possible but having a car is stopping me doing so. Unless I get a pay rise or a second job, which is nearing on impossible.
I'm currently working out on how I'm going to buy my xmas presents for everyone. I'm making an advent calendar for A and O. Putting little presents in random days so it builds up to christmas day :D I'm so excited.
Monday, 12 November 2012
Monday 12th November 2012
Part 2.
Just putting this out there...if anyone is experiencing their first OB of HSV-1, you can come and talk to me, and I can tell you about my personal experience and things I did to ease the pain. It's hard, I found it difficult to handle. Luckily I told my mum and my dear A at the time. They were both so supportive. It's best to tell someone what's going on than keeping it inside and going through it by yourself. I don't know how I would have managed.
Just putting this out there...if anyone is experiencing their first OB of HSV-1, you can come and talk to me, and I can tell you about my personal experience and things I did to ease the pain. It's hard, I found it difficult to handle. Luckily I told my mum and my dear A at the time. They were both so supportive. It's best to tell someone what's going on than keeping it inside and going through it by yourself. I don't know how I would have managed.
Monday 12th November 2012
Sorry I didn't post yesterday, nothing interesting happened to write about.
I thought today I might tell you a bit about myself...
My name is Hannah, but I refer to myself on here as "H". I'm 19 years old, and have been since 27th September 2012. I work in an office of an engineering company, and have done for a year and 8 months. My proper job title is "admin assistant" and I have Level 2 and 3 NVQ in Business Admin, so yes, I am qualified. I have a full driving license and have a car which is running my bank account dry. I have the common STI known as Herpes, I don't care if you judge me for this, but that is me.
I also feel very shit today.
I thought today I might tell you a bit about myself...
My name is Hannah, but I refer to myself on here as "H". I'm 19 years old, and have been since 27th September 2012. I work in an office of an engineering company, and have done for a year and 8 months. My proper job title is "admin assistant" and I have Level 2 and 3 NVQ in Business Admin, so yes, I am qualified. I have a full driving license and have a car which is running my bank account dry. I have the common STI known as Herpes, I don't care if you judge me for this, but that is me.
I also feel very shit today.
Saturday, 10 November 2012
Saturday 10th November 2012
My Friday night consisted of watching MORE episodes of FRIENDS. I live such a wild life...
I decided I'm making an advent calendar for A, he said he'd make me one too...but I dunno if he will. I'm so excited about Christmas this year, because I have someone to sort of buy for. I'm so excited :D
I went to Tesco and Sainsburys today to get chocolately bits for the advent calendar, sweeties galore! I just have to buy the little gifts, and make the actual calendar and it'll be perfect. It's going to be like the best advent calendar ever. It's going to be part of his christmas present, and it's going to be wonderful. I put so much effort into things it's crazy.
The rest of my Saturday is going to be spent laid in bed watching FRIENDS.
Friday, 9 November 2012
Friday 9th November 2012
Part 1.
I keep waking up with a horrid headache, every single morning. The thought passes my mind if I had been drinking the night before, but I hardly ever drink, so no. I'm wondering if it's because I'm getting too much sleep these days, I just can never be bothered to stay awake after 9pm. I'm such a party pooper!
I decided again, to watch a couple of episodes of FRIENDS whilst I got ready this morning. I look a mess because I didn't dry my hair and it looks like a frizzy, fuzzy mess on my head. I didn't have any breakfast cos I was saving myself for my sausage and mushroom sarnie at work, and boy was it worth the wait!!
I wish I'd taken a picture of it, but my boss would have thought it a tad weird.
Tonight I'm going to do some serious thinking about what I'm going to do with my money situation over the next year...I shall update you when I decide...
I keep waking up with a horrid headache, every single morning. The thought passes my mind if I had been drinking the night before, but I hardly ever drink, so no. I'm wondering if it's because I'm getting too much sleep these days, I just can never be bothered to stay awake after 9pm. I'm such a party pooper!
I decided again, to watch a couple of episodes of FRIENDS whilst I got ready this morning. I look a mess because I didn't dry my hair and it looks like a frizzy, fuzzy mess on my head. I didn't have any breakfast cos I was saving myself for my sausage and mushroom sarnie at work, and boy was it worth the wait!!
I wish I'd taken a picture of it, but my boss would have thought it a tad weird.
Tonight I'm going to do some serious thinking about what I'm going to do with my money situation over the next year...I shall update you when I decide...
Thursday, 8 November 2012
Thursday 8th November 2012
Part 2.
I've had a sort of good day. Not done a lot, spent some time with A, was nice. Kept asking what was wrong with me, but nothing was wrong as I was with him.
I just had fish and chips cos my mum and dad went to the cinema to see James Bond. I WANT TO SEE IT. Not fair, they didn't even invite me, my mum and dad don't even get along?!
Spending the evening laying in bed watching more FRIENDS, distracting myself from not buying clothes online as I NEED to save money! Having a car really does run you're bank account dry...
I've had a sort of good day. Not done a lot, spent some time with A, was nice. Kept asking what was wrong with me, but nothing was wrong as I was with him.
I just had fish and chips cos my mum and dad went to the cinema to see James Bond. I WANT TO SEE IT. Not fair, they didn't even invite me, my mum and dad don't even get along?!
Spending the evening laying in bed watching more FRIENDS, distracting myself from not buying clothes online as I NEED to save money! Having a car really does run you're bank account dry...
Thursday 8th November 2012
I woke up this morning feeling utterly shit because of what happened last night. I really thought if I persisted I might get somewhere, but no. I ended up making a utter fool of myself, making him get angry. I cried, like I have done for the past few weeks. Everything has just built up inside me and I really don't know what to do with myself any more.
Even writing this I'm tearing up. It's ridiculous Hannah, he's just a guy. But a great guy, who I'd give my world to. Who means everything to me. I can't be mad at him. I just don't think he realises how much I'd do for him. But, it's his loss. If he doesn't want me, no one else will.
I tried really hard this morning to look hot, but when I arrived at work, I felt like a twat with my make up on, so I washed it off. Why should I try so hard for someone who doesn't want me? It's crazy, but I just can't stop.
I'm trying to be positive about this. I've been watching a lot of FRIENDS recently, and I think we're like Ross and Rachel. That they both want each other, but things keep getting in the way, but in the end they end up together. I don't know. I'm such a fool. I hate myself so much right now.
Even writing this I'm tearing up. It's ridiculous Hannah, he's just a guy. But a great guy, who I'd give my world to. Who means everything to me. I can't be mad at him. I just don't think he realises how much I'd do for him. But, it's his loss. If he doesn't want me, no one else will.
I tried really hard this morning to look hot, but when I arrived at work, I felt like a twat with my make up on, so I washed it off. Why should I try so hard for someone who doesn't want me? It's crazy, but I just can't stop.
I'm trying to be positive about this. I've been watching a lot of FRIENDS recently, and I think we're like Ross and Rachel. That they both want each other, but things keep getting in the way, but in the end they end up together. I don't know. I'm such a fool. I hate myself so much right now.
Wednesday, 7 November 2012
Wednesday 7th November 2012
Part 3.
I'm writing this from my phone. I'm laid in bed, feeling totally drained and useless. I tell you my feelings and you reject them. What else is there for me to do? I've tried so hard to stop my self from getting upset but I can't take it anymore. You mean the world to me, but no matter how often I tell you, you don't understand. I just want to curl up in a ball and forget everything. You're by far the best thing thay has ever happened to me. Just put me out my misery. I'm willing to compremise, but why aren't you?
Wednesday 7th November 2012
Part 2
I hate everything right now. My body, my life, myself.
You know how much I want you, yet you go on treating me like this. It's killing me. The things I'd for you, and give you is crazy. I've never felt like this about anyone. I just don't know what to do anymore. After last nights conversation you made me feel great, saying you're there for me. But I don't know if you actually are. I know you have your priorities, and you have cared for me in the past, but I'd like to know for sure. I just want to hug you, hold your hand.
Wednesday 7th November 2012
Part 1.
I didn't realise my alarm was going off this morning as the song fitted with the dream I was having, was very strange.
Ended up having a deep conversation with A. Was nice how he said he is here for me and he appreciates the things I do for him.
My morning routine has developed to...
Decided on what I'm buying A for Christmas. I'm sure he'll love it. He always says that he feels he's missed his son's childhood, so hopefully this will be sentimental for him. Need to start saving money now for his presents, mums and dads. This year is going to be a good year :)
I didn't realise my alarm was going off this morning as the song fitted with the dream I was having, was very strange.
Ended up having a deep conversation with A. Was nice how he said he is here for me and he appreciates the things I do for him.
My morning routine has developed to...
- 7.15am Alarm goes off
- 7.16am Go for shower
- 7.25am Downstairs, get breakfast.
- 7.26am Upstairs, Laptop on...FRIENDS DVD on.
- 8.00am Realise I need to get ready
- 8.27am Leave for work
I got stuck in crazy ass traffic this morning. Kept getting stressed.
I've had Marmite and butter on crumpets this morning. Lush.
Decided on what I'm buying A for Christmas. I'm sure he'll love it. He always says that he feels he's missed his son's childhood, so hopefully this will be sentimental for him. Need to start saving money now for his presents, mums and dads. This year is going to be a good year :)
Tuesday, 6 November 2012
Tuesday 6th November 2012
Part 3.
This evening I went to the pub where my bestie works. Ended up chatting to some gangsta old dudes. I haven't drunk in a while and I had a pint and I'm sure it's gone to my head...but it was really nice, and tasted of strawberries. Now I'm just really horny.
I'm off to bed. God damn sexual needs.
Caio!
This evening I went to the pub where my bestie works. Ended up chatting to some gangsta old dudes. I haven't drunk in a while and I had a pint and I'm sure it's gone to my head...but it was really nice, and tasted of strawberries. Now I'm just really horny.
I'm off to bed. God damn sexual needs.
Caio!
Tuesday 6th November 2012
Part 2.
My afternoon treat...
Can't beat some chocolates to get you through the rest of the working day... especially when they were only £2.50 from Morrisons. That place is like my second home. ahhh. Also 2 doughnuts, a flake, some maltloaf and some ginger was purchased...a weird selection...
I seem to be living off lemon, honey and ginger drinks at the moment. It makes me feel healthy, especially when I follow it up with a healthy box of chocolates or a bun or two...or three...
I stopped eating chocolate for ages, cos it made me spotty and hurt my teeth, but now I just don't give a shit, it makes me feel great. I'm hoping it will help me gain weight. Even though I've been trying for about 3 years, I'm sure the pounds will pile on soon and I will get curvy like I've always wanted to be, but not so curvy that I can't fit in my car. Hmmm...
My afternoon treat...
I seem to be living off lemon, honey and ginger drinks at the moment. It makes me feel healthy, especially when I follow it up with a healthy box of chocolates or a bun or two...or three...
I stopped eating chocolate for ages, cos it made me spotty and hurt my teeth, but now I just don't give a shit, it makes me feel great. I'm hoping it will help me gain weight. Even though I've been trying for about 3 years, I'm sure the pounds will pile on soon and I will get curvy like I've always wanted to be, but not so curvy that I can't fit in my car. Hmmm...
Tuesday 6th November 2012
Part 1.
For some reason, last night I managed to sleep well in my Arctic bedroom. I'm sure everyone gets the feeling when your bed is so frickin' comfy just as your alarm goes off. Typical.
I didn't watch Made in Chelsea last night, I've decided to save it for today!
This morning I watched an episode of Friends as I got ready for work. I also stood and looked at myself in the mirror for about 10 minutes seeing what I hated about my body.
Things I want to improve about my body:
For some reason, last night I managed to sleep well in my Arctic bedroom. I'm sure everyone gets the feeling when your bed is so frickin' comfy just as your alarm goes off. Typical.
I didn't watch Made in Chelsea last night, I've decided to save it for today!
This morning I watched an episode of Friends as I got ready for work. I also stood and looked at myself in the mirror for about 10 minutes seeing what I hated about my body.
Things I want to improve about my body:
- Slightly bigger boobs ( I'd like to look like a woman in a bikini)
- I'd like to be curvier, I hate being thin (it's not all it's cracked up to be)
- Longer/Nicer hair
- A nicer face
Even though I've hated my body for practically all my life because of this skin condition I have, I'm used to it. My special guy (who I will call A) has made me feel great about myself, so I don't worry about my condition any more.
A left for Wales this morn, I feel weirdly sad. But at least for these next 2 days at work, I don't have to make an effort in how I look.
Had to fill up my car water tank this morning, didn't know which tank it was...so another Google search. I definitely looked like I knew what I was doing.
Thoughts on how to improve this diary, start taking daily photos.
Monday, 5 November 2012
Monday 5th November 2012
Part 3.
7.03pm
Why is it always so bloomin' cold in my room!? No matter how many layers I have on, or if the heating is on, it always feel sub zero in here. Currently sat on my bedroom floor writing this waiting for the bath to fill up. You can tell I'm living the high life, buying posh bubble bath which was reduced from £1.99 to 95p. (bargain hunter right here)
The working day was average, as usual. This will most likely be the same everyday. Apart from today I had Marmite and butter on crumpets. Highlight of my day by far.
Tonight I plan on laying in bed snuggled on my own with my laptop listening to the fireworks because I'm boring and lazy, and don't want to leave my (sort of) warmth of my room.
Good Night Dears.
7.03pm
Why is it always so bloomin' cold in my room!? No matter how many layers I have on, or if the heating is on, it always feel sub zero in here. Currently sat on my bedroom floor writing this waiting for the bath to fill up. You can tell I'm living the high life, buying posh bubble bath which was reduced from £1.99 to 95p. (bargain hunter right here)
The working day was average, as usual. This will most likely be the same everyday. Apart from today I had Marmite and butter on crumpets. Highlight of my day by far.
Tonight I plan on laying in bed snuggled on my own with my laptop listening to the fireworks because I'm boring and lazy, and don't want to leave my (sort of) warmth of my room.
Good Night Dears.
Monday 5th November 2012
Part 2.
10.25am
Thoughts of cake, and scrummy food run through my mind. Excitement that Made in Chelsea is on tonight, in hope that watching it makes me feel rather intelligent, just like The Only Way is Essex does. I have a song stuck in my head and I don't even know what it is.
Craving a toffee apple. Can't wait for lunch to buy some of those bad boys, 2 for £1 from Morrisons...
10.25am
Thoughts of cake, and scrummy food run through my mind. Excitement that Made in Chelsea is on tonight, in hope that watching it makes me feel rather intelligent, just like The Only Way is Essex does. I have a song stuck in my head and I don't even know what it is.
Craving a toffee apple. Can't wait for lunch to buy some of those bad boys, 2 for £1 from Morrisons...
Monday 5th November 2012
Today is the first day of my terribly average diary. My aim is to try and update this regularly...
Part 1.
This morning I woke up at 7.14am, by my mother yelling at me saying my alarm had already gone off. It hadn't. It goes off at 7.15am. It was obviously a chilly night, as I was still in my fleecy onesie, accompanied by a lovely pair of woolly socks.
I slumped on into the bathroom where I caught my reflection and thought "what a beauty" HAHA I KID. I looked like someone had beaten me with a branch. Off to have a shower in attempt to make myself look decent. Cold water shower on a cold day? How...refreshing...
Almost fell down the stairs, as usual. Didn't realise how frosty it was, so I had to get my laptop out and Google how to defrost my car windscreen. Luckily I have one of those ice-scraper/sponge things, unfortunately I do not know how to use one...another Google search.
Once I finish my breakfast I plod on up to my room where the prep for the working day begins.
20 mins later and I am still sat in my PJ's waiting for motivation. Look at clock. 8.00am. Get moving H.
8.20am. I am out the house with my flask in one hand and my ice scraper in the other. Girl on a mission.
Whilst driving to work passers by give me weird looks as I sip out of my flask whilst wearing massive woolly mittens. I discovered driving in woolly gloves is tricky as my hands were sliding all over the wheel and I kept getting little bits of wool in my eye.
Part 1.
This morning I woke up at 7.14am, by my mother yelling at me saying my alarm had already gone off. It hadn't. It goes off at 7.15am. It was obviously a chilly night, as I was still in my fleecy onesie, accompanied by a lovely pair of woolly socks.
I slumped on into the bathroom where I caught my reflection and thought "what a beauty" HAHA I KID. I looked like someone had beaten me with a branch. Off to have a shower in attempt to make myself look decent. Cold water shower on a cold day? How...refreshing...
Almost fell down the stairs, as usual. Didn't realise how frosty it was, so I had to get my laptop out and Google how to defrost my car windscreen. Luckily I have one of those ice-scraper/sponge things, unfortunately I do not know how to use one...another Google search.
Once I finish my breakfast I plod on up to my room where the prep for the working day begins.
20 mins later and I am still sat in my PJ's waiting for motivation. Look at clock. 8.00am. Get moving H.
8.20am. I am out the house with my flask in one hand and my ice scraper in the other. Girl on a mission.
Whilst driving to work passers by give me weird looks as I sip out of my flask whilst wearing massive woolly mittens. I discovered driving in woolly gloves is tricky as my hands were sliding all over the wheel and I kept getting little bits of wool in my eye.
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